My Becomings …

I don’t know if I’m scared or not
For I can feel the floor slipping underneath me
I don’t know if I’m being paranoid
for I feel like nothing is going to be the same ever again.

Knowing that those memories can never be real,
I’m going cold without you…
Knowing that I’ll die a million deaths a day
thinking about all the times I wanted you to relieve me of this numbness…

I don’t know if I can love,
love anything else like I loved you.
I don’t know if I can face my fears,
Fears which you protected me from.

Knowing that I’ll never be a part of you anymore
And yet the world never stops just like my beating heart…
Knowing that I can’t keep everything inside of me
I walk alone, hating myself for what I’m becoming…

 

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